Sleeping Buddies
by Lady Lirimaer Malfoy
Summary: Kagome finds Inuyasha and Kikyou spending some. . .quality time together. It gets hilarious from there. ******NOT FOR KAGOME LOVERS OR LIKERS******


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Inuyasha" characters that I might use in this story. Wish I did though. Nor do I own the Hershey's company. Wish that I owned this, too.  
  
^*^  
  
Yes, this will be a one shot. No, there will not be a sequel.  
  
^*^  
  
I'm sure that you all read this in the summary but statistics show that people need to read or hear things at least 7 times before they memorize the information. Therefore:  
  
1.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
2.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
3.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
4.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
5.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
6.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
7.) THIS FIC IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR KAGOME LOVERS!!!!!  
  
Now that I have ticked every one off. . . ON TO THE STORY!! : )  
  
^*^  
  
"Inuyasha! I can't believe that you would do something like this!" Kagome's shrill shriek had the birds flying and the rodents scurrying as she walked on to a ***VERY*** uncomfortable scene. Namely, Inuyasha and Kikyo spending some quality time together in Inuyasha's Forest. At the hot spring that Kagome had come to start to use.   
  
Inuyasha shrugged as he wrapped his arms around the scantly dressed Kikyo. "I don't see why you care. You are always sleeping with that Homo guy, or what ever his name is, in your time and then when you come here you disappear with Koga."  
  
"That has nothing to do with this," Kagome huffed.  
  
"Oh, no. It has nothing to do with this at all. At least Inuyasha only has one sleeping buddy. He isn't running around to all the different girls in the village," Kikyo commented as she rolled her eyes and started to get dressed.  
  
Kagome started to tremble with rage. This was very funny because instead of weighing the 125 lbs. that she had weighed when they had first met, she weighed a nice, *round* 231. It amazed Inuyasha and Miroku that she could still get a guy, not to mention ^*2*^ guys at that weight. So, Kagome just sat there, jiggling like Jello, when out walked Sango.   
  
Sango gave Inuyasha and Kikyo a very audacious wink when she saw Kagome. The fatso that everyone thought was her best friend. "Did poor, widdle Kagome get her heart broken by her incarnation?" Sango asked in the tone of voice that you would use when you talk to a baby.  
  
At this point, Inuyasha and Kikyo decide to start to make out again, much to Kagome's annoyance and Sango's pleasure.  
  
Kagome reached into her bag and pulled out a chocolate bar. One of the Hershey®™ King Sizes. You know the ones that I am talking about. She pulled one of them out of her bag and just started to devour the thing. It was suddenly clear to everyone as to how Kagome had gained all of that weight. 106 pounds of chocolate bars and late night ice cream splurges. Kagome had finished the first bar when she grabbed another one out of the bag. This one was a Cookies 'n' Cream ®. She had just started to unwrap it when Miroku's head poked out of a bush.   
  
"I will bet anyone here that she inhale this one in less then 30 seconds!!" he called as Kagome started to eat again.  
  
**^ 1 hour, 3 pounds later^**  
  
"That is another 2 ryu that you owe me!" Inuyasha cried as Kagome finished wolfing down yet ANOTHER candy bar.  
  
"Where do they keep coming from?" Shippo asked Kaede, both of whom had joined the group about 45 minutes ago. Shippo wanted to know how Kagome could make so much candy come out of 1 bag. He jumped up on to the edge of the bag and was almost eaten by Kagome when she mistook him for a candy bar. Lucky for him, Kikyo had stopped creating a vacuum seal out of her lips with Inuyasha for a split second to save him from the devouring hands of Kagome.  
  
"Why did she start on this eating frenzy?" Sessho-maru asked as he landed on a branch of a nearby tree. His calm demeanor was shattered by a flying chunk of candy bar almost taking off his tail. "WATCH WHERE YOU INHALE THOSE THINGS!!"  
  
Sango observed the interaction before commenting. "I don't think she heard you."  
  
"I don't care if she didn't goddamn hear me! She is inhaling candy bars faster then a hog inhales it's slop!" Sessho-maru yelled. He was dodging the candy bars that had started to fly even more rapidly with his words.  
  
Everyone started to run for cover. Kagome's size was getting larger by the second and it wouldn't be long before--  
  
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
--Kagome blew up. 


End file.
